Publix, for those of you up north, is the grocery giant of the south. Where shopping is a pleasure.
Now, I believe Beth may have posted something in the past about Keller's public screaming fits. Like the time she had to get up and leave Barnes & Noble with her friend because he went grape nuts in the cafe and made people spill their drinks in startlement. Not crying screaming fits, but really-excited-that-he-can-hear-his-voice-echo screaming.
So yesterday all three of us went to Publix to grab some stuff for Memorial Day weekend cookouts. The place was packed and we had successfully made it to the opposite end where we had a few tomatoes to grab from the produce section.
Enter psycho boy.
Without warning, he takes a deep breath, gets that crazed look in his eye, and unleashes the siren. Now, there's a big difference between unreasonable parental discipline in public vs. judo chopping your way past the produce manager to stuff your hat in your kid's mouth before the elderly couple by the avocados unhinge a joint trying to ramp down their hearing aids. It was so embarrassing.
Blushing and hatless, I led us out of produce toward the checkout (possibly without tomatoes)... where I realized I forgot a six pack of - soda. So as I leave them in line and disappear half way across the store, I hear it. I'm a good 7-8 aisles down and in the middle of the store at this point, but it's like he's in the shopping cart next to me. Without even knowing what kind of soda I'm pulling off the shelf, I make my way quickly back to checkout as the store manager's voice on the intercom booms "Would the unreasonable person with the bank vault alarm in their purse please leave the store immediately."
I may or may not have made the last part up. But a look is worth a thousand words. And with all the happy Memorial Day weekend shoppers' looks we got, I feel embellishment is warranted.
The soda was delicious.
-J
